I thought fit to start this website with a small introduction of myself and the story of how I turned from a food addicted, depressed and lonely soul into the energetic, happy and connected being that I am today.
From my perfect, unhappy life…
My Name is Martina and I’m a passionate meditation teacher, writer, PhD student and assistant in criminal law and traveller on my very own spiritual journey. In my early twenties I had a perfect life: Good prospects of a promising career as a big shot lawyer, a long-term relationship that was supposed to end in marriage and two children sometime in the near future, a body mass index of luscious 21, and a circle of friends big enough to make me feel more or less popular. Sounds like I had every reason to be happy? I thought so, too…
Until one uneventful Wednesday afternoon I found myself sitting on the floor of my living room, wondering why the hell I just ate 18 (!) chocolate bars. Why I had been overeating compulsively on all different kinds of unhealthy food in the past 10 years, balancing it out with overdoing sports and strict diet plans. Why I struggled every day to get up and go to the office, or go out and meet friends, when all I really wanted to do was sleep. Why I looked at my boyfriend of three years as if he was a stranger. And finally: Why I always felt as if I don’t really belong here, as if my whole life was somehow fake.
I don’t know exactly where these questions came from all of a sudden – maybe the sugar rush from the chocolate bars caused some sort of mental blackout that stopped me from lying to myself – but once I saw the truth it couldn’t be unseen anymore: I was anything but happy. On the contrary, apparently I had an eating disorder, low self-esteem, depression issues and maybe even a serious personality disorder (along with an obvious tendency to dramatize). So I was left with no other choice but to look for answers.
…to love, joy and inner peace
I started the never-ending journey to the core of my very being with reading the stories of others: Guides, blogs, novels, any words that seemed like a reflection of myself and my weird patterns of behaviour. And to discover what tools those authors used to heal their old wounds made me try out a variety of healing-methods myself, some of which were not only successful but simply life changing. With meditation practice I slowly learned how to accept myself for who I am, to become aware, present, alive. As a matter of fact I got so hooked on meditation that I started to take interreligious classes to become a meditation teacher – probably the first time in my life I did something I was really passionate about.
Today I can say that I made it: I learned how to slow down, to stop overthinking, to be more than my thoughts and feelings and – as cheesy as it may sound – to unite my body, mind, and soul. I didn’t become a better person and then started to love myself; I rather unravelled the person that was hidden under all my old beliefs and discovered that the love was already there. That it has always been there. I may still struggle sometimes with whatever life throws at me, but I built a lot of bridges that allow me to find the way back to my heart whenever I get lost again. These bridges are what I’d love to share with you here in order to support you on your way back to yourself and back home – whatever that means for you.
I work as a meditation teacher at NOW Meditation in Zürich where I teach the class “Presence” every Wednesday over lunch (in English; more details here) – feel welcome to drop in at anytime. I also give private lessons including spiritual counseling at my client’s homes where they feel relaxed and comfortable.
Don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. I can’t wait to connect with you.